


Realize Reality

by WM_WM_WM



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Humor, Humorous Ending, Inappropriate Humor, Random & Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-17
Updated: 2019-11-17
Packaged: 2021-02-07 13:54:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21459139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WM_WM_WM/pseuds/WM_WM_WM
Summary: Alastor tells the hotel crew something they don't want to hear.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 74





	Realize Reality

"I've gathered you all here to talk about something," Alastor boomed.

Angel Dust, Vaggie, and Charlie slouched on the dusty hotel couch. The Radio Demon paced the room, turning around every few steps. He tapped his cane to his chin. The only sounds were the clacking of his shoes, and the smacking of Angel Dust's gum.

"I've realized something."

"You've realized you want your cock sucked?" offered Angel Dust.

"No!" he argued, "It'll never be that."

"Just checking," he quipped, smirking.

With a growl, Alastor continued, "I've noticed something strange."

He glanced around, making sure nobody else was listening.

He asked, "We're all gay here, correct?"

The three looked at each other. They nodded.

"So. Does that mean gay people get sent to hell?"

The three of them grew wide eyes.

"Well, shit!" Angel Dust remarked. "That's a redpill if I haven't seen one."

Vaggie declared, "What the hell is a redpill?"

"Something that you've never swallowed, Tumblr denizen."

She leaped from one end of the couch to the other. She pounced on the demon, with her fingers tight around his neck.

"Is that a dick joke?" she screeched.

He wheezed, "I didn't mean it, but now that you said it, it does sound like one!"

She slunk to the safety of her girlfriend, where she flopped her head on Charlie's shoulder. She let out a low, soft grumble. Vaggie sulked.

Charlie commented, "Well, Alastor, I'm sure if you practiced homosexuality without being obnoxious, and you didn't hurt anybody, I'm sure God would think it's fine! However..."

The princess wore a frown, as she explained, "Let's use an example. You, a Swedish woman, with your lesbian girlfriend, adopted a boy..."

Furious horns poked out of her head, as she growled, "...And you pressured him to become transgender..."

Her eyes were awash in a raging black, as she screamed, "...And you fucking ruined his life by making him a bitchy cuck soyboy with no testosterone in his tiny testicles!-..."

Back to her normal self, she explained, "...Than you deserve to go to hell."

The three beings stared at her, wide-eyed.

Angel Dust remarked, "Jesus, what kind of human were you? A redneck?"

"Actually," Charlie informed, "I was born in Hell."

Vaggie rubbed her temples.

"Wait. Wait. Humans have souls. If they're bad, they go to hell."

She gazed into her girlfriend's eyes.

"If you were never a human, do you have a soul? And where do souls come from, anyway?!"

"I want to get regular fucked, not mindfucked!" Angel Dust complained.

He stormed out of the room, slipping down a dirty hallway. The remaining beings could hear distant complaints about the meeting being a waste of time.

"I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation," Charlie muttered, looking optimistic, but not feeling it.

Alastor chuckled.

"...With no testosterone in his tiny testicles!" he giggled, as he teleported away.

Charlie's cheeks burned, knowing deep in her gut the demon's mockery was unwarranted. The remaining beings locked eyes, cozying up to each other.

"Hey, Charlie?" Vaggie asked.

The grey demon flopped on top of the other. She slid a hand underneath her red shirt.

"Do you want to be a good gay, and kiss me?" she demanded softly, their faces close.

"Hell yeah," Charlie whispered, as they locked lips.

**Author's Note:**

> This story was inspired by this review https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHPH9yHG0os (pls check it out the creator needs support bc he is smol + i like him a lot ;w; [actually technically inspired from the comments but whatever])


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